I don't think I can forgive the old woman for using the red spot laser thingy as much as she has. Even Auntie Ming has been thundering up and down the kitchen after it. The old woman says Auntie M needs more exercise but it's distressing seeing the old trout, puffing and panting and trying to squeeze herself underneath the cooker in pursuit of the red spot. As for my ma, Beryl le Feral, she is absolutely hooked on the thing and has perfected something approaching a handbrake turn as she charges around the kitchen. Apparently the tiled floor is perfect for pirouettes. Who knew?
The old woman uses the red spot thingy to trick my mother and Auntie Flash into going outside when they don't really want to leave the warmth and security of the fireside. And they like to watch television, of course, although there is generally nothing specific for a well educated feline like moi. The old woman adores Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and it was probably the best thing to watch, although the cat hero was disastrously groomed. Looked as if he had had an electric shock which is probably an occupational hazard if you consort with witches, however amateurish they are. Fortunately I have managed to train the old woman to wield the little cat brush when the females of my family are proving recalcitrant about grooming me.
Why am I called Boris? The old woman says I am like Boris Johnson, big, bold, blonde and completely bonkers. So El Bobo, not Bojo. The real mystery is why my sister is called Twinkle...who knows.
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